il faut tenter de vivre

I want to be a flower
But not in order to be beautiful
I want to be a flower so I can grow
I want to feel balanced and never fear that I am taking too much from others or not taking enough for myself
I want to be nourished by the sun and sweet water and I want to turn green with appreciation
I want to be relinquished of sentience and therefore responsibility and doubt and pain
But not happiness or love
Because cells will no longer be so easily punctured
They will have sturdy walls to hold me up
Nestled amongst chlorophyll
I will live and be so simple
So simple that I could emerge from a seed and return to the earth without wronging anyone
Including myself
If I were a flower

u know how My Little Ponies circa, like, early 2000s had a magnet in one of their hooves? i remember my friends and i used to bring our ponies to school and drag them through the sandbox because we were infatuated with the fact that the magnet hoof would catch little grains of iron in the sand. if i remember correctly we pretended we were a mining facility or something and each of us would collect little iron dust piles, and it evolved into a sortof pseudo competition. i probably didn’t fare very well..